Talk About A Change….

Most everyone who reads this blog remembers me like this….  

The Secretary of FCC, Wednesday night children’s teacher in summer, and all around ‘go to’ person. If you needed something I was the person to come to. If we didn't have it already, I would get it for you, and if it was an elusive item, I would find it no matter what.

I was the church membership’s personal phone directory, money collector for many projects and events, sounding board for other staff members and the person with the answers to who, what, when, where & how.

Well, in the year that has past since we left Tennessee I have found a new job and it is not what anyone would expect.

Here is my new office…. 

...and here is my new desk.

And here is where I work…  

While I am mowing the expansive areas you see, I also get to enjoy these beautiful sights….. 

It is a beautiful sight to look out 

over a field of wild flowers 

in an array of different colors.

Sometimes I am even treated to the occasional critter like this baby squirrel hiding in the baseball dugout. There was actually two but one was a little too shy and scurried around the back. 

The thing I find fascinating about my new job is that I spend so much more time talking to God now than I ever did working as a church secretary. I know that sounds odd but it's the truth. With great amounts of time to think I found myself thinking of things I didn't want in my head. To battle the bad thoughts I decided to talk to God instead. 

I talk to Him about my family, my friends, myself and all the 'now what' questions I had. I pray for the family members of the people buried in the cemetery I mow weekly, some I now know and care about. 

I talk to Him about what He wants me to do with my life now and how to go about it. I ask for strength, guidance and peace. 

This job is seasonal and will end in late September. What I will do after that I don't know. I do know that I will be in Idaho with my mom for a couple months. (Rick will take over the mowing.)  I am flying out on the 15th to be with her while she goes through surgery to repair damage from a heart attack and have a pace maker put in. Something none of us ever expected with my mom. She has always had what the family jokingly called 'an iron constitution', and they all secretly admired her for it. The attack she had was pretty severe from what the doctors told her so I imagine her iron constitution is what has kept her going since then. I ask for your prayers for her recovery and over all health. 

While I am there I will post about what is going on and try to get a bit of information about the area & my adventures there. I imagine the next couple of months will hold some big changes for us. 

Love you all and thanks for reading. 

Spring Has Finally Arrived!!!!

In the summer of 1982, Rick and I, along with two 4 year olds and a dog named Cocoa, traveled from Northern Illinois to West Tennessee to visit his family. The route we took traveled through the western edge of Kentucky and I remember looking around at the dense foliage and thinking that it was the greenest place I’d ever seen. And I do mean GREEN!

Now, 30 plus years later, I am living in Northern Minnesota and can honestly say this is the whitest place I have ever seen. And I do mean WHITE!

The ground was constantly covered with a thick white blanket, every tree wore a white coat and every rook had a layer of white frosting with beautiful long ice cycles hanging from the edges.  The grey/white skies promised to refill the places where we’d pushed the blanket back in order to navigate safely from place to place, even if it was just to the mailbox and back. The picture above was taken with my cell phone just a few weeks ago...in April. 

One month after the actually first day of Spring, Winter has finally loosened her grip on us and is slowly receding, revealing brown wet patches of earth and grass struggling to turn green again. The trees have been trying to leaf out for weeks and on many you can see the yellow and red of new growth waiting to burst loose with life.

There are several squirrels that spend their days scampering from tree to tree, one seems to have an infinity for my favorite maple in the yard, the same one pictured in an earlier post. I can see the tree from my upstairs office window and enjoy the show the squirrels put on for me in the morning. It’s just one of those things that make me smile. If you look closely you will see one of my delightful friends on the top board stretched across the 2 cedar trees. 

The little birds have been back for a couple weeks now but this morning I was delighted to see another telltale sign of spring in my yard – Robins -- bunches of them. It was a joy to watch them dance across the yard in pursuit of a meal.

Out the big bay window at the back of the 

house is the most obvious sign of spring, 

a river of water from the melt off heading for 

lower ground. At the end of the flow is the 

inlet to the stream that flows through our

 property and under the road as it heads 

for the St. Louis River a couple miles away. 

God Is So Good!!!!!

I must apologize for not posting anything for such a long time. Ever since my trip I have been in a weird place, still trying to find myself in this new place I now call home. Also, I've been struggling with the fact that it is April, Spring time; things should be turning green and warming up but winter is not done yet. In the last 2 days we've gotten almost 6 inches of snow. Mother Nature must not have gotten that memo. I keep telling myself it will melt eventually.  In the meantime....

I want to share with you what happened on my journey to visit with my mom and aunt in Boise, Idaho.  I had prayed for protection for the plane before I ever got on it so I was relieved when the captain came on the loud speaker to inform us that we would be delayed for about 40 minutes to fix a problem with the hydraulics that lower the wheels.

I was one of the first to board so was able to stow my carry on above my seat. I was assigned an aisle seat, which I prefer, easier to get up and down and I don’t mind letting seat mates out. I was joined a short time later by a couple on their way to Hawaii. They love being there but hate the long flights it takes to get there. I suggested next time they plan a cruise. The trip was a pleasant one, we chatted some and each spent time in our own pursuits, sleeping or reading.

When we landed in Phoenix we were behind by 40 minutes because of the hydraulic problem so I was worried about getting to the next gate on time. When I entered the terminal I looked around to find which direction to go for my next gate. How pleasant to find that it was right next to the gate I’d just came through, and, to make it even sweeter, that plane was delayed as well because the crew to fly it had not arrived yet; the plane they were on was late as well. 

On this flight I was assigned to a center seat, which I was not looking forward to, and I was one of the last groups called to board so I was concerned about stowing my carry on near me. Well, imagine my surprise to find my assigned row and the above cargo area empty. I stowed my bag and took my seat and waited, there were still people getting on the plane. I smiled with gratitude as the cabin door was closed and the captain announced our departure. I had the whole row to myself. How awesome is that? Thank you God!!!! 

This plane is the the first plane I traveled on during my trip home. I have never been in a plane this small before so it was very different. It had double seats on each side so sitting in the middle was not an issue and my carry on would not fit in the cargo area so it had to be stowed in the baggage compartment. Thankfully, they did not charge me extra. I was seated with a lovely little lady who was on her way to visit family in Montana. Here is the crazy part. She and I were both headed east, so where did this plane take us? To Seattle! 

That is the biggest airport I have ever been in. After arriving I went in search of my next gate right away. I deplaned at gate D, my next flight took off from gate N. I had to go down 2 flights of stairs to a basement level and get on a train that took me across the airport, where I went back up 2 flights of stairs to the N terminal and walked all the way around until I found N8. Thankfully I had almost an hour to wait so I called home & my mom, letting them know I was safe. Then I got a cup of coffee and sat back to people watch while I waited for my flight. I was so happy to see that my next plane was much, much bigger. 

I had a middle seat again and my seat mates were not really interested in conversation. The young lady in the window seat pulled her hood up and dozed, the young lady in the aisle seat was buried in her book before we even took off, so I did the same. 

To end this day long trip, I took a shuttle from the Minneapolis airport to a park and ride outside of Cloquet, Minnesota. Rick was there waiting for me and an hour later I was back home being loved to pieces by my Betty Boop. 

Feeling At Home

January 19

Falling snow, in the right circumstances (I am thinking with coffee of course) has a gentle peace about it that gives your mind and spirit rest.

February 1

The above sentence sat on the page for two weeks all by itself. I had no where to go with it; nothing to add. Truth is, I was in the moment when I wrote it  -  Looking out my office window, coffee warming my hands, watching the snow settle on the branches of the barren maple & majestic pine trees across my yard. And then the moment was over and I was lonely again.

I have stared at that sentence every day since and tried to figure out what happened. Why don’t I have anything else to say?

This morning in the shower (where else would I get a revelation) it all fell into place. I didn’t have anything else to say because I was afraid to admit how I was feeling. You read it two paragraphs back, yea, I’m lonely. There I said it. No, I don’t feel any better. Admitting it doesn’t change it.

I miss my friends and the life I lived among them. I have to admit to pangs of jealousy as I read about events going on among them that I am not there to share. The awesome changes going on in the community I loved that I am missing out on.

This loneliness not only makes me miss my previous life, it also makes me miss certain people. I miss my kids; they all seem so much further away now. I have a grandchild I've never met and sometimes I wonder if I ever will. I miss my best friend/sister and our coffee dates, shopping dates and weekend getaways…I miss our connection. It’s still there but so much harder to feel with 900 miles between us. I miss the friends who would allow me to just plunk down in their lives and chat any time the mood struck me.

I miss my mom and our weekly dinner and a show dates. Wow, I didn't realize how much I missed her until I wrote it down. It was our special time together. We’d have pizza or make something simple for dinner, and watch either 'Extreme Makeover Home Edition' or 'So You Think You Can Dance'; whichever season it was. We’d cry and Ooo and Aww over Home Makeover and vote for every contestant on Dance; we wanted them all to win. I really miss my mom.

I miss my past because I haven’t been able to find my path in the present and I cannot see my future. It’s not that I am not enjoying the winter and the snow in my new home; it’s that I don’t feel at home yet. I guess it will take a little more time to get there. After all, it has only been 7 months.

The View Out Our Windows

I must apologize for not posting in such a long time. We have been so busy since moving into our new home that finding the time to write something was difficult. So I am going to post some pictures to show you the beautiful surroundings we live in.

This beautiful maple is front & center in the yard. I enjoyed watching it slowly turn crimson last fall. 

This was the view out the bay window in the living room when we first moved in. 

This is the view out that same window now.

And here is a sunset shot out the same window.

Here is our Christmas tree that Rick & is brother, Perry, actually went out to the woods and cut down. 

It was awesome that our son, Chris flew up from California for the holiday.

We've been having fun playing outside

 in the snow and riding our snowmobile 

all around the property.

Yes, that is me standing in the 

woods in the snow in orange pants.

 That’s so no one mistakes me

 for a deer and shoots me.

And  here is Rick getting ready to take off on the snowmobile. Yes, I did get on and ride but I couldn't take a picture of myself.  I got some video of Chris riding it while he was here for Christmas. 

He posted it on Facebook for his friends in California who didn't believe him.

Well, that's it for now. I'll put something together in a couple weeks with more pictures and tales of our adventures in the snow covered frozen north land of Minnesota.

 Love you all and thanks for reading!